


the after

by vausewalkers



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/F, OITNB - Freeform, Piper and Alex, Pipex, Vause-Chapman, vauseman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-23 07:37:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15601482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vausewalkers/pseuds/vausewalkers
Summary: My take on Piper getting out of prison. Mostly canon with the end of Season 6, but I might change up a few things and add to a few scenes. Obviously, this fic will contain spoilers for Season 6 of Orange Is The New Black.





	1. i

Piper didn't even feel real. She felt like she was in a dream.

Her body was tickling with anticipation and anxious excitement, her hands sweating and her left knee bobbing up and down in such a rapid motion she had to stop herself, feeling a cramp coming on in her thigh. The case manager was still talking to her, probably telling her important information, but Piper wasn't even remotely listening to anything he was saying. The second he had uttered the words "You're getting out tomorrow." Piper had completely tuned out. Her brain was in overdrive.

She tuned back into reality for a moment though, as the case manager told her again that they would be picking her up at around 11. She acknowledged this information with a nod of her head and hear him dismiss her. Her brain connected back to her body finally, as she made herself stand up and walk to the door.

"Oh, and, Chapman," She looked back to the man sitting behind his cluttered desk. He gave her a soft smile. "Congratulations." She smiled back at him, thanked him politely and walked out of the office.

As soon as she shut the door behind her, her legs were moving. She practically ran (without actually running so she could avoid getting a shot) to Alex's bunk, rounding the corner into the doorway and looking inside as she said Alex's name. She was disappointed to find no one there, an empty cell. She said Alex's name once more for no reason in particular, probably just because her mind loved hearing herself say that name. She stepped towards the bottom bunk, Alex's bed, and sat down on it. Across from her she was met with the prison-issue metal desk. A typed letter, she figured was Alex's bunkmate's, was hung on the wall above. The desktop was not very cluttered at all, and it looked like all the items were probably Alex's. Her fiancee's open glasses case rested there, along with a few extra pencils, a stack of paper, and a small notebook. Piper took it all in and felt her heart drop.

As she looked at the stack of papers against the back of the desk, seeing Alex's handwriting and the glasses case she remembered the prison giving her at minimum, she was immediately overcome with a wave of sadness. Her blood suddenly felt like lead and her eyes were blurred with tears threatening to break the barrier. All this time, ever since she was told she was getting released, all she could think about was the excitement of being free again. She had dreamed of it for so long, ever since her first day as an inmate at Litchfield, but it always registered in her brain as a distant yearning, something coming in the far future. And now it was here, she was getting out in less than 24 hours, and it hit her that she never even took the time to think about what being released actually meant. It meant leaving Alex. It meant not being able to see that beautiful face every day. It meant not being able to touch her, hold her, intertwine their hands together, or run her hands through those raven locks. It meant not being able to see that smile, or hear that husky laugh, or see that ivory skin, or look into those gorgeous and complex green eyes she had come to know so well without glass in between them. Getting out meant leaving Alex for four whole years and not being able to do any of those things for that long too.

The floodgate had fallen, and tears were pouring down her cheeks as she struggled to catch her breath. A sob escaped her as she put her head in her hands. All she wanted was Alex in that moment. She wanted Alex to hold her close and tell her everything would be okay, to dry her tears and tell her all the things Alex always told her that always made her feel better. To be quite truthful, and Piper knew this very well, Alex was the  _only_ person who could even handle Piper in these deeply emotionally troubling situations. And Piper really needed Alex to handle her right now.

Piper couldn't help but think back to the riot, in that tiny broom closet wrapped in a shower curtain. Piper had thanked whatever god wanted to take responsibility for the fact that Piscatella had for some reason put her and Alex next to each other in that room, because the only thing that had kept Piper from completely losing it was feeling Alex's hand reaching out as far ass he could to place feather-light brushes against Piper's body, and the weight of their shoulders touching. They had pretty much been in contact in some way throughout the entire ordeal, and Piper was sure that was the only thing that kept either of them sane. As Piscatella had grabbed Alex by the arm, though, Piper felt herself breaking. She had only felt that feeling in her life a few times before; once when she saw her dad cheating on her mother outside of that movie theater, the second time when her mother refused to acknowledge that it was happening, third when she had to carry that bag through Brussels and it went missing for an hour or so, and fourth when she walked out of that hotel room in Paris. This time, though, the fifth time, felt even more earth-shattering than any of the four times before.

All of those other occurrences had happened to Piper, but not so much in front of her. She saw her dad momentarily cheat on her mom, her mom and her had a discussion for less than five minutes about it, she only lost that bag for an hour, and in Paris she was leaving. But this time Piper was stuck, put on that floor to bear witness to the love of her life, the only person she could rely on anymore, in a life-or-death situation.

Wit _h Piscatella holding her in a death-grip, Piper didn't know if Alex would make it out of that. Her whole mind had_ went _blank while also racing at the same time, so many thoughts passing through and all of her memories with Alex piling up in her conscious mind like stacks and stacks of paperwork at an office. Their whole history was playing like a vignette behind her eyes_ in _that moment, and Piper didn't know how to deal with it. All she could do was cry and scream, watching as Alex's fate was dangled in front of her, and she couldn't do anything about it. Something had clicked in Piper_ in _that moment, something that made her completely forget about all the baggage that came along with her and that came with her and Alex's relationship. After that moment, Piper finally realized that this entire time, nothing else even mattered. The only important thing in her life was Alex, and being with her was all she needed._ In _that moment, Piper finally understood what she had been doing wrong all those years: she had been always searching for something else, for something important, while glancing right past the only real important thing she had, and that was Alex. As she heard the crack of Alex's shoulder being snapped, as she felt the cries come out of her, she made a promise to herself internally to never forget that moment, to never forget that realization. She made a promise to herself to forget about everything else 'important', and to dedicate herself to Alex forever._

Since then, Piper had completely committed to Alex and hadn't felt the urge to look for anything else since. She had finally quieted down that voice in her brain always telling her to keep searching, to keep trying new things and to keep putting on masks. She didn't need any of it. And it had proven to make her happier than she had ever been.

And right now, looking at Alex's open glasses case on top of her desk, Piper felt her whole world crash down as she thought about leaving Alex. She cradled her head in her hands, trying as hard as she could to suppress her own sobs and being unsuccessful. She needed to find Alex.

After a few minutes of calming herself down, telling herself that she needed to talk to Alex before having a full mental breakdown, she stood up from the bed and began to walk out into the common area. Another quick scan and no sign of Alex, Piper pushed away the worrisome thoughts of not knowing where her fiancee was and walked back into her own cell. She elected to take a shower, having nothing else better to do while waiting for Alex to return. She rummaged through the items under her bed, grabbing her white towel and her toiletries bag. With the towel over her shoulder and her bag in tow, she began to make her way to the showers. As she walked back into C-Block, though, something strange happened. She took everything in. All the navy-clad women moving about in the room; some were eating a late lunch, trying to finish with less than ten minutes left to eat, some were chatting with other inmates, some speaking to guards or making their way to somewhere else in the prison, and even some asleep with their heads on the metal tables. There were only a few guards, five she could count. Two of them were pacing back and forth from one end of the common room to the other, half-heartedly doing the bare minimum to keep watch over the inmates. One of them she recognized as CO Dixon from camp, was standing post next to the gates leading to the other blocks. There was also one who appeared to be trying to keep his cool while an inmate was nearly yelling at him, and finally, up in the CO Bubble was Copeland, the CO she had first told about her whole heroin-baggy Badison incident. Copeland was leaning against the window of the room, peering down on them like a hawk watching the world from above.

The room was rather loud, which wasn't unusual at this time of day when most everyone was awake and just getting done eating their midday meal. Normally the noise and the high-energy of it all would give Piper a headache, but today was different. It all seemed somewhat heart-warming, the bustling crowd all taking part in their own activities, all being individuals. It was an interesting scene, all the movement of every woman like different parts in a machine doing their own thing. Piper felt a bit sad watching it all, taking in that she would never be able to see this again in her life. Missing prison was.... a  _concept_.

Piper trudged the rest of the way to the showers, finding them fairly empty at midday except for Blanca and a couple of random inmates she didn't know. She set her stuff down, took off her clothes and stepped into one of the showers. She felt barely functional, like she just didn't have the energy to exist. She exhaled deeply, placing her focus on the steady warm stream of water coming from the shower head. She looked down at her feet, remembering her first shower in prison when she had to wear maxi-pads as shower shoes. Now she was wearing the rubber ones from commissary. She lifted her hands to her face and leaned in to smell the soap. That prison-issue soap that made her skin dry if she used it too heavily. It smelled like nothing.

"Are you smelling the soap?" Blanca spoke up from two shower stalls down. Piper looked up at her in surprise, not expecting anyone to have been watching her. "You know they have soap on the outside, right?" Piper set down the soap and shook her head slightly.

"I just can't believe, I- .... we're getting out!" Piper said quietly as she leaned against the barrier between her and the next shower. Blanca laughed.

"Gringuita, why the hell are you whispering? We're getting out of this place!" Blanca yelled the latter part, and Piper couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of excitement peer through the blanket of sadness covering her.

"Doesn't it feel weird?" She paused. "Everything that you're gonna be leaving behind?" Blanca had stepped out of the shower at that point, drying herself off with a vague look of resentment.

"I'm leaving behind a musty wife beater, a quarter bottle of Head and Shoulders, and a bunch of petty bitches that are the reason my elbow hurts when I straighten it." Blanca took a deep breath and smiled, looking up at Piper. "Out there, I have a chance of starting a life. Diablo is gonna go crazy out of his mind when I tell him." Silence overcame both of them as Piper turned off her shower.

After a moment, Piper stepped out of the shower. Blanca finally spoke.

"Trust me, out there is worth it." Blanca said. She turned and walked to the other side of the wall before leaving the bathroom.

Piper was left alone in the shower area, just her and her thoughts. Blanca had said something about having a chance to start a life on the outside, but Piper couldn't relate to that. Her life was in here, in this prison, one cement wall away from her bed. Alex was her life, and there was no home or life on the outside if Alex was still in here.

Piper grabbed her towel, drying herself off a little before walking back out towards her block, and hopefully to Alex.


	2. ii

Piper opened her eyes, huffing out a breath in frustration. She wasn't sure how long it had been since she had been laying there, but based on the way people had dispersed away from the common area to take afternoon naps or attend classes or whatever else people did in this place, she assumed it had been at least two hours, making it nearly 2:00pm.

She had ended her meeting with the case manager at around 11:30am right when lunch was starting, so that meant that Alex had been AWOL for two and a half hours. Piper was a little annoyed but mostly just concerned and curious as to where she could be. Maybe she was off having bonding time with Badison again.

Piper rolled her eyes, sitting up in bed and mostly giving up on trying to get some shut eye. She was bored out of her mind, even moreso than she usually was, even in prison. Typically at these hours she had Alex with her, and Alex's company was more than enough, but without Alex her day had been so mundane she wanted to bang her head against a wall.

Her bladder was about to burst though, so she pushed herself to stand up and walk across the small space to the toilet. One thing she was sure she wouldn't miss about prison was the metal toilets, and she verified that as she sat down and almost jumped right back up feeling how cold the surface was. Her mind started to wander, thinking about all the amenities she would have upgraded when she was released, when a voice she knew better than any other voice spoke from the doorway, startling her as she yelped.

"I know I've been MIA," Alex started. Piper looked up to her and even as she exhaled an irritated breath from being surprised, she couldn't deny (and would never deny) that she was so happy to see her fiancee's face. Although, she wished Alex could've waited until she was done peeing. She hated people interrupting her on the toilet. "And you hate when people bother you when you're on the toilet," Piper looked at her again, and felt that similar wave of emotions flow through her looking at Alex. She really didn't want to tell her the news. "But I promise, you'll think this was worth it." Piper finished using the bathroom and grabbed some toilet paper, willing herself not to put off telling Alex any longer. She needed to know now. Alex looked back behind her, making sure no guards were around, then continued. "I can't come in for obvious reasons, so you're gonna have to have your mind blown from here." Piper was listening, but her eyes were dazed, staring into space as she mustered up the courage and the heart to speak up.

"I have something I need to tell you." She said. Alex didn't pay it much notice.

"Okay, but hang on a second, so you can finish peeing, and I can show you  _this_." Piper looked over as Alex held out a tissue in the palm of her hand. Resting on top of the tissue was probably twenty coffee beans. Alex's smile was so big, and Piper couldn't help but grin at the sight. The night before they had sat in the common room at a table towards the back right corner, barely paying attention to the movie showing, talking about how much they missed coffee. Alex went on and on about espresso shots and how she still craved that jumpstart of energy she got fifteen minutes after downing one, and Piper spoke about black coffee, or coffee with cream, or how she loved the blue sugar packets more than the pinks, to which Alex responded that she already knew all of that. And now, the next day, Alex had found some way to bring their wishes to life, holding coffee beans in her hand. Piper felt overwhelmed with the love she had for this woman for the millionth time in her life. It was getting harder and harder for her to even think about telling Alex about her getting out.

"I know it's not a lot," Alex said, excitement in her voice. "And we still have to find a way to grind them, but this is real coffee. Not that instant shit from commissary." Piper turned back to look at Alex again, still smiling as she focused on her fiancee's face. She found herself trying to take in all the details in Alex's face as she had before, trying to commit them to memory. Most of them were already stored in her mind for good, but she still felt this urgent need to memorize them all again, like if she didn't it would kill her. And honestly, she thought it might. She was tracing Alex's cheekbones with her eyes as the brunette lifted the coffee beans up to her nose, sniffing them once. "I think they might even be single-origin." Piper couldn't wait any longer. She looked straight ahead, slouching down to try and make herself smaller, and spoke.

"I'm getting out of prison tomorrow." There, she said it. She paused, wiping herself with the toilet paper. She was terrified to look at Alex's face, and honestly, she was a bit preoccupied forcing herself to keep her tears inside.

"W-What are you talking about?" A new shatter formed in Piper's heart as Alex's tone changed. She stood up, flushing the toilet and finally facing the woman in front of her.

"I thought that when they came to pick me up this morning, Badison might have given me extra time, but it turns out I got early release." The words felt like they were physically hurting Piper to say, and she could see Alex's own tears forming in those green irises. Alex looked down for a split second and met her eyes again.

"When?" Alex asked innocently, and Piper had to swallow as hard as she could to suppress the sob threatening to climb up her throat in that moment.

"Tomorrow." Piper said the word again, confirming it not only for Alex, but also for herself. She was getting out tomorrow.

"Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. You said that." Piper watched as Alex looked at the floor again, pushing her glasses up onto the top of her head, something that typically made Piper feel weak in her knees whenever she did it but now seemed to just make it harder for Piper to keep her emotions at bay. She could hear the pain in Alex's voice even though she was clearly trying to mask it. It made Piper want to hold onto Alex and never let go. Alex met her gaze again.

"That's great." Alex said, and Piper sensed that the happiness in the tone was only for show, and she knew that Alex was trying to make her feel better, but also could see that she was trying to tell herself that too.

"Is it?" Piper asked sincerely. "I thought that we were gonna have five more months together. I thought that..." She swallowed, exhaled, found herself struggling even more to remain calm at the look of pure hurt in Alex's eyes. She reached down and grabbed Alex's hand, squeezing it like it was the only thing keeping her from slipping into an abyss. It was. "....we were gonna get...prison married, with all of our friends. Both of them refused to break their gaze, holding onto it for dear life. Alex smiled the saddest smile at the sentiment about their unplanned prison wedding. "And have a honeymoon in a utility closet or something." Piper couldn't help but smile sadly as well at the thought of it. Alex squeezed her hand.

"So now we'll get real-world married, and we'll have a honeymoon in Fiji, or Iceland, or somewhere else we can have a miserable time." Alex chuckled. "Like normal people."

"I hate normal people." Piper said impulsively, although it was true. She leaned against the wall, holding both Alex's hand tightly and focusing on studying the different layers of green in Alex's eyes instead of the tears on the precipice of falling from her own.

"Think about it. You're gonna be able to pee alone with no one bothering you. And you're not gonna..." Alex separated their hands for a moment, taking a deep breath as she lifted the tissue of coffee beans up, looking at them. "You're not gonna need these. You're gonna be able to drink all the single-origin coffee you want." Her hands hit her sides lightly, and Piper's stomach dropped even lower as Alex's eyes found hers again. She was nodding so barely, only for reassurance for the both of them, like she was trying to convince them both that it  _was_ actually good that Piper was getting out and not one of the hardest things either of them were going to have to go through. "You're gonna be able to pee alone and drink single-origin coffee at the same time if you want." Alex was smiling, holding Piper's hands again.

"I know I should be happy." She nodded once and swallowed, shifting her weight from one foot to another. "But, I'm scared." She confessed. Her heart felt like it was going to spontaneously combust. "I don't wanna leave you." Piper said, and felt a single tear escape her eye and travel down her cheek. Alex looked down, trying to keep her own tear from following suit. She was nodding when she looked back up.

"Trust me. This is a good thing. You're getting out of _prison_." Alex paused for a second and took a shaky breath. "Now fucking hug me already." Piper was already stepping forward, wrapping her arms tightly around Alex's shoulders as Alex's exhaled what was close to a sob and wobbled forward ever so slightly like if Piper didn't grab her right then, she would've fallen. Piper held her as close as she physically could, feeling Alex's arms around her waist, pulling her close too. "Just don't fuck it up like I did." Alex said, and Piper felt her heart rip to shreds again. She turned her head to bury her face in Alex's hair, inhaling the scent that was purely Alex. She heard Alex take another deep breath by her shoulder and start rubbing small strokes up and down Piper's back.

They stayed like that for minutes, just holding each other, listening to the other's breathing and letting everything settle in. Piper was content to stay like that for the rest of her life, in Alex's arms, her eyes closed, blocking out the world and focusing on the steady rhythm of the brunette's heartbeat. Whenever she was with Alex it was so simple, when she could just let everything else go. She had come to realize that, too, that she didn't have to bring along al of the extra stuff, that she could just exist in tandem with Alex. That was the easiest thing Piper had ever done: let go of all the bullshit from the past and not be involved in all the bullshit from the present and just be there with Alex. It was simple as could be. They didn't need anyone but each other, and they both knew it at the bottom of their hearts now. None of the other had to matter, all they needed to live was each other. And Piper found now that the only times she could simply be and clear her mind from all her problems was in moments like these, just being next to Alex, or in Alex's presence, or kissing Alex, or holding Alex and vice-versa. Those were the moments that made time stop, if only for a second, and those were the moments when Piper could finally exhale and when everything felt better.

Piper jumped a little when she heard Alex sniffle, the sound opening up in the silence they had been in for nearly five minutes. The blonde reached up and held the back of Alex's head, leaning up slightly so she could more comfortably rest her chin on her shoulder. She felt almost physically warmer as Alex pressed a kiss to her hair, then to the shell of her ear. The brunette leaned back slowly, and when they finally faced each other, another tear broke the surface and rolled down Piper's cheek as she saw how Alex's cheeks were wet with her own tears. Piper reached up with her right hand, brushing the pad of her thumb across Alex's cheekbones to wipe away the wetness. Alex leaned into the touch, and Piper's lips curved up to form the tiniest smile, but it was still there. Alex's hand came up to meet Piper's on her cheek, and their fingers interlocked as they both lowered their now-joint hands from her face. Alex exhaled slowly, lifting a hand to cup Piper's face.

"What now?" Piper said quietly. Alex frowned at the question, twirling her fingers in a loose strand of Piper's hair.

"Now, I guess we make the best of our last 24 hours together. For four years." Alex looked down at her feet as she added that last caviat onto the sentence, but Piper was quick to reach her hand up and lift Alex's chin to face her again.

"Al, let's not focus on that part, okay? I can't focus on that part." Piper choked up a little again, but forced herself to keep it inside for both of their sakes. "Let's just do what you said, right? Make the most of this last day?" Piper put on a small smile and Alex followed suit, brushing blonde locks behind Piper's ear.

"Okay." Alex said, nodding once. Piper leaned in, pressing her lips against Alex's. When she moved to break the kiss, Alex pulled her right back in and kissed her deeper, but still just as gentle and heartfelt as the first. Piper smiled as they both leaned away, their foreheads resting against each other's.

"Do you wanna go for a walk?" Piper asked, trying to think of any place in this prison that they could have some alone time.

"Yeah, sure." Alex's voice was low and barely audible, like she was physically too tired to make it louder. It made Piper's stomach turn in the worst of ways.

Alex squeezed Piper's hand, turning towards the exit of the bunk. As they left the safety of the cell they had to release their hands, but as Piper followed Alex into a corridor leading out towards the salon and some of the other extracurricular areas of the block, their hands kept brushing lightly and that itself was comforting to both of them.

Piper didn't know where there were going, or even if they were going anywhere, but she kept following Alex without a second thought. She would've followed Alex anywhere, especially in that moment.

Eventually, though, Alex stopped her pace in front of the door to the Rec Room. They were just past the salon, far enough away from the common room and from the guards' station to have privacy but not so far away that they couldn't get back in time if they had a surprise count or inspection. Recreational activities started at 2:00PM everyday, so they were both sure they would have at least a little bit of time to themselves before they had to go back into the crowd. Alex looked back one more time over Piper's shoulder to the hallway before grabbing the doorknob and turning it, opening the door. Piper walked through into the room as Alex held the door open for her. The blonde took a few steps inside, peering around cautiously to confirm that there was no guards making rounds or lingering inmates inside. Once she had thoroughly checked the room with her eyes, she glanced at the clock on the wall above the bench on the opposite wall of the door. It was only just past 1:00PM, so they had time.

Piper turned around as she heard the door shut softly behind her, metal hitting metal. Alex was already making her way over to the far corner of the room; the only corner that wasn't visible through any of the windows leading to the hallway. That corner was a purposeful choice for Alex, another little precautionary tactic to make sure they wouldn't be interrupted.

Piper closed the distance between her and Alex, leaning back against the same wall that the brunette was sitting against and sliding down so she was seated right next to her fiancee. She felt Alex move closer, as close as she could, so there was no space between them; hips and shoulders touching. Neither of them knew what to say or do. Piper was staring at Alex in a way that would've seemed obnoxious and earned her a mocking comment from Alex in any other scenario, but in that moment said woman was just blankly looking straight ahead, both of her hands half entangled in raven locks as she held her own head. Piper sighed inwardly, barely making a sound, not wanting to startle Alex who, she was sure, was still processing. Piper learned after many, _many_  years of living with Alex that she needed space when trying to figure things out in her head. Piper had made the mistake more than she could count of trying to pry Alex's thoughts open at the wrong time, and she had slowly but very surely found out not to try and push Alex in a time like this.

So, Piper turned to face forward too, bringing her knees up to her chest and folding her arms across them. She wasn't even paying much attention to anything in reality; she was lost in her brain, thinking about everything and anything. It wasn't until she felt Alex put her hand on top of Piper's resting on her left knee that she focused back into the real world. She watched as Alex kept her eyes locked on their now intertwined fingers and studied them, a false look of calamity playing on her face. It felt like it had been an eternity since one of them had spoken, so when Alex finally broke the silence Piper felt herself jump a little.

"I don't know what to say." Alex said, her small smile not quite reaching her eyes. Piper turned to look at her, noticing but choosing not to point out that Alex was clearly trying to avoid looking at her. Piper had learned that, too; Alex rarely showed her vulnerable side, and when it started to come out she tried to subdue it for as long as possible.

"I know. Me neither." Piper replied, still staring holes into the side of Alex's face. When the brunette finally looked away from their hands and met Piper's gaze, she saw a look she knew well. It was Alex's 'I'm trying to pu ton a false strong facade but in reality I'm crumbling' look. Piper had seen it time and time again and though she knew it was only temporary, her heart cracked seeing just how far Alex would go to try to reassure Piper. She squeezed Alex's hand, searching her eyes, trying to peel back that tough exterior.

"We can do this Al." Piper said the words softly but firmly, engraining them into her brain as a fact and not some theoretical belief. Alex nodded once, forcing a faint sad smile on her face as her other hand came up to cover Piper's. "It's gonna be hard," Piper's voice cracked slightly as a tear created a wet trail down her cheek for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. "And it's gonna seem impossible but we can do it. We will." Piper was nodding now. "We have to, because I can't....I can't lose you, Alex. I won't. Not again." The tears were pouring out now, and Alex was fighting back her own as she leaned forward to rest her forehead against Piper's.

"It's okay, Piper. It will be okay." Alex sounded surer than Piper, but she was still wavering on the solidity of that notion. But still, she kept saying the phrase over and over in her mind.  _It's okay. It will be okay._

Piper's quiet sobs got fewer and eventually turned into an occasional sniffle, until she stopped crying altogether. Alex leaned back, met Piper's eyes again and brought her hand up to Piper's face, wiping away the stain of Piper's tears on her face. Piper turned her face to press a light kiss to Alex's palm, and the brunette's heart thumped internally at the gesture. Alex leaned forward, cupping the blonde's face as their lips met. The kiss was so gentle, so full of love and all their unsaid words, but also laced with their desperation and the idea of a timer running out. It was inevitable, they both knew, that this was going to happen. They had both known this for months, but had chosen to push that truth far back into their minds so they didn't have to think about it. It had always seemed so far away, so distant that it wasn't important, like a deadline months away that you should really be preparing for, but you always tell yourself that it's a long ways away and you'll do it later. Until that deadline creeps up on you, and suddenly it's tomorrow and you haven't done any of the work you were supposed to do. They weren't ready for this, but they had to be.

Alex pulled back, not wanting to ruin such a heartfelt kiss by taking it much further yet. They still had a lot of talking to do. Piper sighed, held Alex's fingers interlocked with hers tightly and leaned against the wall, facing forward again. Alex followed suit, breathing out deeply and trying to process where she should even start with all the thoughts swirling in her head.

"What are you gonna do?" She dove right in. Piper looked at her.

"I have no fucking idea." Piper said, and they both uttered their first sincere laughs that day. It was bittersweet.

"Well, I'm sure Perfect Polly isn't interested in the soap business anymore, right?" Alex asked. It was an actual question, not a dig at Piper's failed company, and Piper knew that.

"No, definitely not. Plus, I'm not quite sure I would want to work with her again. The whole thing was a nightmare. And it clearly didn't turn out well. Also, I'm not very interested in spending time with Larry if I don't have to." Piper stated flatly. The mention of Piper's ex-fiance earned a groan of disgust from Alex.

"Yeah, nope." They sat in silence for a moment, before Piper turned her body to face Alex and the brunette turned her head, still leaning against the wall, but now she was at least face to face with her fiance.

"You know, I was serious about writing a memoir." Piper said. Alex rolled her eyes.

"Jesus. Piper, do you know how hard it is to write something that will actually be successful these days? Not saying that you aren't eloquent, I know you are, but fuck. That's not a guaranteed income." Alex bluntly said the words, knowing she had to give Piper a reality check or Piper would easily fall right into running full speed at something she wasn't ready to handle.

"I know that, Al. I'm not saying I'm going to rely on it. I'll probably end up waitressing or something, at least for a while until I can get back on my feet. Or, as back on my feet as an ex-con with a felony-record can get." Alex made a face. They both knew how hard it was to find decent work as a felon, and they had talked about it a lot. "But the book! I could do it on the side or something." Piper sounded so excited that Alex almost didn't even respond, just wanting to relish in her cute happy face she was making, but again, her need to make sure Piper was taking this seriously took power.

"Okay Pipes." Alex lifted up now, turning from the wall to sit facing Piper. "If you really want to do this, I'm in. But, you have to have a plan, okay? You have to take this seriously, because you need money and you need to be able to survive on your own. You can't use this book as your only source of income. If you do this right, though, it might turn out great." Alex knew Piper was truly listening.

"I know, babe. I will. And I have a plan. I know what I want to write about." Alex lifted an eyebrow, encouraging Piper to continue. "Prison."

"Yes, I got that part." Alex said with a chuckle. "What about prison?"

"I want to expose the system. I want to write about what it's really like in here from an insider's point of view. Not from the media coverage or the fake stuff you see everywhere where a reporter goes in and does a little video on what it's like. This will be legit and real." Alex had to admit, the idea of it seemed pretty awesome. People love prison, love hearing about anyone who does something that is seen as different or bad in society. And she had seen Piper write before, had read her poems and essays she had written both in college and just for fun when they first dated, and she was an amazing writer. This could really be something.

"I like that. People would love it." Alex said, smiling at Piper's giddy grin. It quickly faded though, almost seeming like Piper was lost in the happiness of possibility but then fell back into the realization that she was, in fact, leaving her fiance in prison. The brightness on her face dimmed and her smile fell away, leaving a small bittersweet curve of her lips in its path. Alex leaned forward to kiss Piper's forehead.

"I'm gonna miss you so much." Piper said. Alex felt her heart shatter.

"I'm gonna miss you more, Pipes."

Following the last notes of Alex's sentiment, they heard the intercom buzz and a CO announce that it was time for recreation.

 

* * *

 

 

Alex woke up in a cold sweat. She wasn't sure what time it was, but she figured it was late. Her and Piper had talked for almost 5 hours after recreation, all the way up until lights out at 10:30 PM. They both were really reluctant to say goodnight, knowing that it was their last night together in prison. Alex had gone into her cell after kissing Piper goodnight and cried herself to sleep. She hadn't even meant to fall asleep; in fact, she figured she wouldn't have been able to sleep at all that night. But, here she was, awake at who knows how early in the morning, sweating profusely after dreaming about Piper and her in Bali. She seemed to only dream about Piper these days.

The brunette stretched as far as she could on the under-sized bottom bunk, pushing the prison-issue blanket to her feet to try and ventilate some air to her body. She sighed deeply, blinking to try and adjust to the darkness of the prison. It was odd, being awake at such an hour, and seeing just how quiet and empty the prison could get. Normally, she wouldn't even sleep much more than 4 hours each night, but she could see the barest of light shining in from the window outside, so she knew it had to be at least 5:30 AM, which meant she had probably slept over 6 hours.

There was no reason for her to go back to sleep now if she had to wake up in an hour, so she sat up from the bed. Putting her feet on the cold concrete was refreshing, feeling the chill from the ground contrasting with the heat radiating off of her. She stood up, careful to not hit her head on the top bunk so she wouldn't wake her roommate, and stepped over to the desk and sat down. Her things were pushed to the left side of the tabletop, stacked neatly underneath her glasses case. She grabbed the black container, opening it and retrieving her glasses. She put them on and felt the familiar relief of being able to see with them on. Closing the case and grabbing her journal off the top of the stack of notebooks, she placed it in front of her and opened it to the next open page. She started writing without even thinking about what she was writing about.

 

 _I guess I might as well make terms with it. Piper is getting out tomorrow. Or, well, I guess today. Fuck. Piper is getting out today. It feels weird even just writing that._  
It will all be okay. I told her that. And it will, won't it? There's no way of knowing for sure, but I know I'm not giving her up this time. I'm done playing hard to get or trying to be tough to distance myself. I can't do that anymore. Our relationship, it's different now. After Aydin, after Piscatella, after the pool, and especially after reuniting, we both agreed to just cut all the bullshit. No more backstabbing, no more throwing each other under the bus, no more leaving, and no more keeping score. We had that discussion back in the time machine and I know I've stuck to it, and she has too. And it's fucking awesome. Just being able to be with her, without any of the crap that came along with it ever since we got put in Litchfield.  
And Piper deserves this early release. She really does. I'm happy for her. And I refuse to let her see how much it actually hurts me, because then she will probably do some bullshit like try to fucking stay here and get time added to her sentence. I won't let her do that. No matter how hard it is going to be in here for four long fucking years without her, I will suffer through it as long as it means she gets to be out and free.  
We had a long talk tonight about everything that she is going to do. Of course, as Piper usually does, she didn't really think much about how things would work outside. But she did decide that she definitely was not going to live with Carol and Bill, and that she would probably be staying in the house her and Larry had lived in together for a while, but she didn't want to stay there for too long because it 'would be weird to live by herself there' and 'that house had too many memories'. She said she'd probably stay with Cal for a while after selling the house or maybe find her own place, but she also didn't want to commit to somewhere yet because she knew that we would probably end up finding somewhere else when I get out. In four years.  
She is also pretty set on this fucking book idea, so there's that. I made sure she knew that she had to have a backup plan and a steady income if she wanted to write the memoir, and she said she thought she would end up waitressing or something for a bit until she possibly found something better. Piper's offense was nowhere near as bad as mine, and even though it was a felony, her degree from Smith and her intelligence and background and the fact that it was a pretty minor felony would probably be able to land her something more than a waitressing job. Which we also talked about.  
We also talked a lot about how the wait would be for me to get out. It sucks, it fucking sucks. But I'm not letting her go no matter what happens. And I believe Piper won't leave either. She's going to come every week to visit and call every day and send letters and enough pictures for a fucking collection of scrapbooks. It's gonna suck, it's gonna fucking suck, but it will all be worth it at the end of these four years.  
I'm gonna miss her so fucking much. Everything about her. Her goofy but gorgeous smile, her voice, her oceans of eyes, but especially her touch. And, god, am I gonna miss touching her.  
Four years. We have four years to go. We can do this. We will do this.

 

 

Alex closed the journal with a small amount of aggression, sighing and running her fingers through her hair. She needed to stop thinking about this.

She opened the journal to the last page, tearing out the sheet and setting the journal aside to write a note. She had almost forgotten.

 

_Nicky, it's Alex. I need you to do something for me. Piper is getting out today, and she wants to get fucking prison married before she leaves. Get Lorna and some decorations and shit and set them up in the rec room at 1:00. I'll bring Piper in at 1:30 and we can do this thing. And I know you are ordained, so you can marry us. I'll do something for you the next time you need it, I swear. I owe you one.  
_

 

Alex folded the note up into fourths, sliding it in her pocket as she heard the gate open. The guards were coming in for wake-up calls. She slid back into bed, waiting for her cell to open so she could find Gloria. Gloria would give the note to Luschek who would give it to Nicky. And it would work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter took so long! I have had some bouts with writer's block lately and have been in a rut, but I think this chapter still turned out alright!
> 
> The story is going to continue to progress a little slowly as we go through Piper's last day in prison, but once she is released there will be more time covered in chapters and probably a bit more time between.
> 
> Also, this was kind of a filler chapter in a way, so don't expect this slow of a pace to be present in future chapters. It's all gonna get more interesting and lively from here.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Tell me something in the comments! :D

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! i hope you liked this chapter, i know a lot of it was from the show and it was kind of just setting everything up, but trust me i'm gonna be adding a lot more scenes to fill in what the show didn't give us and everything like that.
> 
> i don't have a schedule for this fic but i'll try to have the next chapter up next week sometime. you can check my tumblr for more updates if you want (http://www.tumblr.com/taylorsvause).
> 
> also if you liked it and want to leave kudos or a comment, i'd appreciate it a lot :D
> 
> thanks for reading!


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